Introvert or Extrovert? Does it matter? As long as I am used mightily :)

It have been a busy weeks that I didn’t get to meet Lim Yieping! Met she and Tanpeng, we were talking about our personality.

I always say ” I am an introvert.. I am a Trained Extrovert” This have been rather stuck in my head that I am like that… When I am out with YP we are always quiet that we enjoy such quietness.. LOL!

Today, we were discussing and she mentioned that ” actually maybe your personality have changed. You are rather more expressive now” Is kind of good i guess…

Of course I  denied and say “no I am a trained Extrovert” They went on and talk about my dream job which is a wedding planner or PR. I told them how much i loved it because i can talk to new people… I love meeting new people when I was at Front Desk. AND they said ” you are confirm not an Introvert anymore!” hehe.. Thinking about it.. I’m not sure … hehee is kind of rather rare that I would love to talk and tease people in the past… I guess the training was goooddd…

Whether am I an introvert or Extrovert, I guess God have transformed me into someone beautiful inside out these few years…. The going through of fire have made me to be a beautiful vase and now it is still in the process of making it even more beautiful…

I totally got reminded about YP’s sis that was the one that showed me that “introvert” people do can do something for GOD too. At that time I was playing guitar for her cell group for a few of her meetings .. And when she shared about her testimony to her cg, it got inspired and showed me that I do can be a cgl too. Indeed, I am one now… Thank you so muchhhh :)

Alright, Loving all of you! :)

What make a Woman “Good”?

 I happened to read this blog that Grace introudced.. And I was quite blessed by it… All her post are so real … I like one her post on “woman”

Here is her post:

I wanted to introduce a little mini-blog I’ve started over on Tumblr. It’s not meant to be a secondary blog of mine, but rather a hub for the gems the pass in and out of my life.

Between running Good Women Project and writing here on my blog, I get to share and hear so many stories. Sometimes women ask questions, and sometimes I have the answers. And sometimes I just need to bookmark incredible things that I want to be shared with everyone.

And with that introduction, I’d love for you to bookmark asklauren.tumblr.com or follow me if you’re on Tumblr.

Today I answered an anonymous question that I wanted to post here:

“Lauren – - I love reading the posts on your blog as well as The Good Women Project. I was wondering if you could touch on this term “good” in a little more detail. What does “good” mean for women who see themselves outside the landscape of purity? I’ve read some comments recently on posts that seem to see this word as isolating and judgmental – - for example, that somehow if they have had premarital sex they must not be “good women.” Any thoughts?”

Answer: Ooo my heart. A year and a half ago I was out behind a post-hardcore/metal venue with a dozen sweaty musicians praying over me as I stood in shock while my world imploded on me. It was one of those moments where time stops and you try to figure out how you ended up here. Needing this. In that moment, I realized that I no longer had any hope for being good. I no longer saw myself as good. And no one else did either. I had finally achieved what a sick part of me had always wanted – to be just like everyone else.

And I had lost all respect for myself.

I grew up as “the good girl.” And yes, you are right. The traditional definition of ‘good girl’ as defined by the church alludes primarily to her purity. Which I no longer had. When I lost ‘my purity’ (I’d argue can happen without physically having sex – but in a mental/emotional capacity), I still wanted to be the good girl, but I lost a lot of respect for myself. I also was having an inner battle: The kind of good that I had grown up being was not the kind of good I wanted to be. The old kind of good came from following the rules, and I failed. I needed a kind of good that came from love, that gave life and not death.

I was somewhere between a girl and a woman, and I knew for a fact I was no longer a girl, but I could in no way call myself a good woman. And I had no idea what even defined a good woman. I just knew I wasn’t it. But it’s interesting that even Jesus stood up against a man who asked Him how to be good. Jesus said, “Why do you call me good?! No one is good, only God alone.” (Luke 18:19)

“Good” is not a condition that is defined or un-defined by your past, your history, your church attendance, your appearance, or even your current sex life. I have learned that “good” is the position of your heart towards Jesus and your future, and in turn is the actual condition of your heart. We can live life with or without Jesus, and apart from him, we have no hope of ever being good – because He himself is our Righteousness. (II Corinthians 5:21)

”Good” is a woman who admits that she cannot be good on her own, so she pursues Jesus, because through him her life is redeemed and she finds life and love. ”Good” is choosing to believe you have value because Jesus said you do. “Good” is having hope in your future again because God makes all things new, and gives every minute, intricate detail of your past a purpose again. “Good” is learning to start over again and hold God’s hand while you walk and strive to understand the purpose of his commands while you obey them with his help.

In that moment behind the venue, I desperately wanted to be a good woman.

And in all humility, a year and a half later, I can say that I am. Not because I no longer make mistakes, but because I’ve given the whole of my heart and life over to Jesus again. Not because I am the poster child for a Perfect Woman or Perfect Wife, but because I have dug my heels in and allowed God to define my value, my worth and my future. And I’ve fought to keep the position of my heart turned towards Jesus and my future.

I am good again because I’ve started trying again, and trying with the right Person.

 

http://laurennicolelove.blogspot.com

30 things to stop doing to yourselves

I saw this article that my brother-in-law post on his fb. Think is rather meaningful. I just simply love articles that brings encouragement. Source gotten from http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/

Here it goes:

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2.Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3.Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

4.Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5.Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6.Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7.Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8.Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9.Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11.Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13.Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15.Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16.Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17.Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18.Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19.Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20.Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21.Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22.Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23.Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

25.Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26.Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27.Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

28.Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29.Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30.Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new end”

Posted while on the move. Through the eye of the backberry

This is what I called “TRUE LOVE”

Today, my Senior Pastor Kong was sharing on the topic about Love for Valentine’s Day. He shared this true love story that got me to understand what it means that “till death do us apart”

Gordon, 94, and Norma Yeager, 90, of Des Moines, Iowa, were married for 72 years. According to a local report, from high school onward they wanted to be together forever. On Earth, they got about as close to “forever” as any human couple could ask for, and last week they died an hour apart while holding hands with each other.

KCCI reports the couple’s son, Dennis Yeage,  as saying the couple was in a car accident last Wednesday, which put them in intensive care. Nurses did not separate the couple. Gordon died first but, as Dennis says in the news clip,

Gordon’s heart monitor was still registering a beat. This is because the monitor was picking up Norma‘s heart beat through Gordon’s hand. Norma died an hour later:

If you didn’t catch it… Gordon die first but his heart beat was still beating only after Norma passed away then both of their heart beat stopped!

They are so committed to each other that their heart beat as ONE!

Pastor shared three points about LOVE:
1. Love is a commitment
2. Love is a feeling
3. Love is a action

Season of Relationship!

Wishing all Couples an Awesome Valentine’s Day. May your love for one another grow even deeper:)

Telling all my friendssss I LOVE YOU guys! Thanks for being part of my life :) LOVESSS

Posted while on the move. Through the eye of the backberry

Teach me this thing called “Relationship” :)

Was tremendous blessed during the weekend. Dr Robi preaching totally changed my whole concept abt relationship.

Dr Robi is a Clinical Psychologist and a preacher! In my life as a Christian. I have never heard a Psychologist who is also an on fire Christian and Preacher. His teacher totally blow me away every session!

I thought I have fully understand what Relationship are! I thought I have fully know it very well. After a failure in this area and with Dr Robi’s teaching I totally knew that there are so so so so much I still got to learn about this thing called “Relationship”.

Listening to Dr Robi make me realized I have so much weakness that I need to change… Still I know this season of relationship is gg to be good for CHC!

We are all designed for relationship! Communication is the key to relationship! :)
My primary love language is “Quality Time” though… Lol! Let’s stay connected with one another! :)

Lastly, Thank You Pastor Kong n Sun for bringing Dr Robi in to bless CHC! We are truly BLESSED :)

A shepherd that truly knows what is good for his people! Love u Pastor Kong and SUN :)

Posted while on the move. Through the eye of the backberry

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day :)

I was reading one of the article that Grace sent. It was pretty meaningful that got me to think about it. This article name is called  “Don’t Carpe Diem”

Carpe Diem seems like a big word to me.. I mean only to me not you! hehee… Getting the reference from Wikipedia.

Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace (see “Source” section below) that has become an aphorism. It is popularly translated as “seize the day”. Carpe literally means “to pick, pluck, pluck off, cull, crop, gather”, but Ovid used the word in the sense of, “to enjoy, seize, use, make use of”

While reading this article, it got me to think about how we have never really enjoying every moments of our lives… The people we spent time with.. The people we met only once…The people who were once our mentor.. Or even the people we fall in love before… We somehow took all of these for granted… We never appreciate and never take everything for real…

This article talked about two different types of time. 1. Chronos time is what we live in. 2. Kairos time and that is God’s time. it’s time outside of time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still.

These Kairos moments leave as fast as they come but I mark them!

When I have this artcle in my mind and I listened to my Senior Pastor Preached today… I really wished time stood still and let me really enjoy every moment… There are moments where I overlooked some people or things which I never appreciate. That moment just come and go!  

In the past, I was taught about grabing every Kairos Moment eagerly. When you missed it, you really missed it! Nowadays, I really wished that i am not so busy that God got to throw a brick at me to catch my attention. I wished i will never come to a place where poeple are throwing brick at me to catch my attention to tell me ” you missed the Kairos Moment”

Every moment is precious and we should treasure it all.

Every seconds where we meet people, we should treasure it all..

Every minute where ur mentors disciple us, we shouldd treasure it all.

Every Kairos Moment we experienced is precious !

 

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success!

 

When a man love a woman

I read this article on yahoo… is kind of sweet but it kind of reminded me that such guys are so rare now… We learned about love.. But do we practice it? We learned about longsuffering.. do we practice it? This article talked alot about LOVE..

 here it goes:

After their first three dates, his girlfriend told him an astonishing piece of news that changed his life forever.

It was a “dark secret”, 61-year old Raymond Anthony Fernando remembered of what his then-girlfriend Doris Lau Siew Lang told him almost three decades back.

I am schizophrenic, she had told him.

If that was not surprising enough, she also told him that she was a patient at the Institute of Mental Health, otherwise known as Woodbridge Hospital in the 60s.

Yet, the secret she guarded so carefully — one that scared away all her previous boyfriends upon hearing — finally stood the test of one man’s faith and love for her.

Raymond, a Singaporean whose heritage is part Eurasian and part Sri Lankan, listened as Doris poured her heart out about her past and her condition.

Schizophrenia is a group of psychotic disorders characterised by disturbances in thought, perception, affectation, behaviour and communication lasting longer than six months.

At the onset, because there was little public awareness on schizophrenia, Doris’ symptoms of headaches, insomnia, a loss of appetite and even being delusional sometimes worried her family.

They believed she was charmed, and brought her to a medium instead. The delay worsened her condition. It had escalated to a point when she harboured suicidal thoughts. Back then in the 60s, a relative who worked in the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) heard of her unexplainable illness and recommended Doris be warded. Her condition finally stabilised.

Instead of breaking up with her after hearing what she said, the freelance television actor and motivational speaker asked her, “Will you marry me?”

“I was deeply moved by her sincerity and her caring nature. I had dated many girls, but Doris was very down to earth… Doris is a very timid person and I decided I wanted to give her a better life, so I asked for her hand in marriage,” Raymond told this writer.

The couple tied the knot in 1974.

This year, the couple celebrate their 37-year anniversary.

Doris is still battling with schizophrenia and as of five years ago, arthritis as well. As for Raymond, he too has diabetes, high cholesterol and cataract.

Challenges of caring

Medical costs aside, Raymond revealed that the road is tough to say the least. He used to struggle between juggling work and caring for his wife.

In 1995, under tremendous amount of stress, he attempted suicide.

In retrospect, he said, “I deeply regret taking that route — imagine what would happen to Doris if I had not survived.”

“It’s still very tough,” Raymond admitted. “But I have to stay and remain strong for Doris. She needs me badly.”

The couple had unfortunately lost their only two children — one through a miscarriage and the other through an abortion. In the latter case, the couple made that decision as Doris would have to get off the drugs that would affect the foetus.

The devout Catholic relies on his faith to get by. He left his 31-year job as a public relations officer in October and is now working from home as a writer to earn income to pay their bills.

Caring for his wife turned him into an advocate for the mentally ill.

“It’s been extremely tough for her as Doris’ sole caregiver, especially when the support structure for caregivers of the mentally ill is clearly lacking — something which I have been fighting for, for decades.”

But Raymond never regretted taking her as his wife.

“No, I will not ever walk away from taking care of Doris because of one simple reason — I love her deeply,” he said

Raymond handles all the household chores and finances while maintaining his writing jobs and caring for his wife. The last job entails taking her to numerous medical appointments at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, IMH and polyclinics monthly, and ensuring she religiously takes her medication — 52 tablets a daily. He visits the same hospital for his eye treatment.

Although her schizophrenia is now stabilised, Raymond reveals that it may relapse anytime. “The symptoms of her arthritis condition caused her to be in tremendous physical pain in all her joints that left her mobility severely impaired. In severe pain, it can trigger a relapse of her mental illness,” he said.

Doris had suffered a relapse before so he and the doctors are carefully monitoring her condition.

Symptoms

Raymond reveals how the symptoms first develop. He usually first notices physical tell-tale signs such as the white of her eyes turning slightly blue, and much dandruff appearing on her scalp.

At the beginning, Doris would become uncannily quiet and fearful. “The slightest noise will affect her,” Raymond said. Over time, she tends to become increasingly anxious and begins hallucinating. While she is not violent, her husband said, Doris cries when she hears buzzing in her ears and voices telling her to do “strange” things.

“There were occasions when I had to sleep with the house keys under my pillow as she would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to go downstairs to the void deck. She believed that her mother was waiting for her downstairs. But her mother had already passed away,” Raymond said sadly.

Traumatic experiences such as the loss of their children and the loss of her mother haunt her as well.

The breaking point is when Doris begins talking about suicide. That is when Raymond is left with no choice but to admit her into hospital.

“On most occasions, she would have to undergo ECT ( electro convulsive therapy). This is where mild current is applied to the brain every four seconds to stabilise her.  Most of the time, she requires at least six shots of ECT.  It is an extremely painful period for me,” he said.

She may require another knee operation should her medications fail, he adds.

Despite all these, while he acknowledges that it is an uphill task to care for her as her arthritis condition worsens, he is prepared to fight this battle for he and his beloved wife.

“If there’s one thing you can say to your wife now, what would you say?” this reporter asked.

“If schizophrenia is part of your life, then it must certainly be part of my life. I don’t necessarily like what the illness does to you, but it is you who I love. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life, Doris.”

Deborah Choo used to write for an array of websites such as Youth.SG and The Online Citizen. She now blogs in her free time