I was reminded about God’s love again.

My elder Sister sent me this picture today to remind me how God have brought the family through the 9 months.

This is one of the days where our family feels that she couldn’t make it. And is time that we let it go. I always remembered what my Dad say to me when I was studying at the bedside of my mum during my major examination period. . He turned to me and said “we must have faith, then your Mother will be well”

This is my mum after 9th months.

I think my dad’s faith brought her to life.

Thank you for reminding me again of His love❤️

When God gave my parents a second chance in life.

I lived in a family of six. Being the youngest in the family and the most introverted one make it hard for my parents to entered into my “world”.

Life was pretty good. Serving actively in church for 7 years as a cgl, working in accounts as what you have been pursuing till life crisis hit you hard right in front of you.

In April 2017, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. Even with much worry in our hearts, we had to brace ourselves to go through this ordeal with him.

A few months later in August 2017, I organized an advanced birthday party for myself with a small circle of family and friends.

However little did I expect that the day before the party, my ever active mum was admitted to the hospital for a fever and was later diagnosed with a mild heart attack. It came as a shock for us as there were no past history of heart attack in our family, nor did my mum had a prior medical history of this condition.This was yet another ordeal for us.

Her health deteriorated. Preliminary scans showed that there were two main arteries that were 100% blocked and another one was partially blocked. The rest of this journey went like this:

24 Aug 17: The hospital could not do much about the blocked operations. They did a balloon operation to help open up the arteries.

26 Aug 17: After the operation, she seemed better and was transferred out of the high dependency ward to a normal ward. In the midst of recovering, she was transferred to a community hospital for rehabilitation.

19 Sep 17: She was transferred back urgently to the first hospital due to acute kidney damage caused by her weak heart. On top of that, her potassium level went up. She now needed to undergo dialysis for her kidney to remove the excess water and high potassium in her body.

22 Sep 17: Her condition improved and she was transferred back to the normal ward.

26 Sep 17: She was transferred back to the high dependency ward due to overloading of water. To remove the fluid, she was prescribed special medicine. Factoring in her weak kidneys and heart, the dosage prescribed had to be low.

5 Oct 2017: Her sodium level increased and her kidney was once again affected again. She had to undergo dialysis that same day.

6 Oct 2017: Her condition became critical.

Her bp went down so low that dialysis had to be stopped. Her body started to reject all medication.

10 Oct 2017: The doctors performed an urgent resuscitation on my mum. She was sedated with an invasive ventilation tube.

20 Oct 2017: After 3 dialysis sessions, her kidney was still not performing its function of flushing out the toxins. She now required a very delicate balance of medication to keep her going. If dialysis did not work, doctors may have to insert a 40cm balloon tube into her heart. However , that would put her at risk of forming blood clots. Finally, they insisted on a balloon to help pump her heart. The balloon could only be in her heart for 14 days. Without the balloon, my mum’s heart would have to be strong enough to pump on its own.

On the 11th day, her doctor called us and told us that there was nothing they could do. The other hospital, which specialized in heart conditions, also rejected her for an operation due to her age.

With much desperation and only 3 days left till the balloon had to be removed, we found a private cardiologist who is highly regarded among specialists. He reviewed mum’s case and was confident to perform the procedure to put in a mechanical heart. With the mechanical heart, she would be able to have more blood pumped into the body. Once her heart was strong enough, other doctors would be able to treat the kidney condition.

27 Oct 2017: We spoke to our mum’s primary doctor in the first hospital and he was agreeable to her transfer. She underwent the mechanical heart operation at the second hospital. Everything went smoothly and the procedure was a success.

Mum started to recover. With that, we decided to transfer her out to a third hospital for rehabilitation.

1 Feb 2018: After the transfer to the rehabilitation hospital, her condition took a turn for the worst and she was diagnosed with pneumonia. There was infection and water in her lungs. Her white blood cell count was increasing.

7 Feb 2018: My mum was Alert. Minimal ventilator requirement. Blood pressure & pump parameters was stable. The White cell count was still.

15 Feb 2018: A day before CNY, there were still air in my mum’s lungs. The hospital are still fighting to drill out the air.

We spend the CNY at icu with her. Still fighting all kind of sickness she need to.

26 Feb 2018: she was transferred out to High Dependence Ward.

Mar18: Her health gotten better and started to eat solid food.

In 1-2 weeks time, she will be discharging back home after 9months.

It has been a very tough period for the family when both our parents fell severely sick at the same time. Every day was a battle. I woke up each morning thinking “ok what is the next battle to fight?” It is all about running from hospital to hospital.

But one thing is very evident – God has been with us all.

My parents have never supported my going to church and have always objected to me being so involved. Nevertheless, throughout this one year, God’s healing power and love have shown so evidently through this journey with them. They became Christians. My mum was even baptised after she had an amazing encounter with God in her dream. My dad’s cancer PSA reading decreased also.

My faith was shipwrecked, emotionally I didn’t “rest” for a good two years. My cg was disbanded in Jun16, after which I have a breakup in Aug16 , my granny passed away in oct16, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer on Apr17 and mum’s heart issue from Aug17 – till date.

It seems like I finally could have a breather for myself. My faith was built up because of my parents’s faith in God. They showed me how a child like faith could move the Hands of God. They showed me how trusting and believing could move God’s grace and power.

From a typical parents that forbid me to go to church, now my dad attended two services. He can’t wait to attend church with my mum.

For years, I always wondered to myself in what way could my parents ever will believe in this God?. On the day of my baptism in year 2011. They were so pissed that I made such decision. The only person that turned up at my baptism was my elder Sister. I knew God have been there from the very start and He have already wrote the story of our lives.

Thank you my friends for being here during these period. The time to let me be myself. The forcing me out for a steamboat. The time to just doing nothing make everything easier for me. I am blessed to have you .

I am so sorry for those that I didn’t gave my best to be the Friend that you needed these few months.

Through it all, I could say God is faithful and true till the end 🙂

How Part Time University Life Changed me!

I would say getting into a university is a big miracle for me. As an EM3 student to a Normal Tech student and moving to the ITE student. Trying my best to achieve what I wanted to do all along is to be an accountant. I took accountacy in ITE and scored well enough to push myself through into POLY. Choosen Accountacy as my first choice BUT! I entered poly with my second choice “Hospitality and Tourism Management”. Like come on why HTM when i chose accountacy? I guess God just want me to enjoy a little before i get the real thing hehehe?  But I have no regret being in the HTM course! I had so much fun in my poly days.  Of course my friends are all younger than me because of the “longer route” I need to go through into Poly. 

Thinking of my dream of being an accountant. I knew I need to do something.  Yes the only way is “Night” University Classes and yet have a job to pay for the University Fees. And that is the most tiring but fulfilling decision I ever made and i ever need to follow through.

Of course looking at my peers.. I wished I could enjoy Uni life a little more like them.  Part Time University, you hardly able to make genuine friends.. They touch and go after every assignments..

This decision I made I never knew how tiring it will be to me.. Waking up at 5am to study for exam and off to work at 8am…. Got to prioritize my time very very wisely for the different friends.. cg.. church.. family.. I love fun.. I love hanging out with people. I love talking and just spending time with people.  Rejecting many to go for birthdays, outings, movies and fun is the most “sian” thing ever just becoz you need to study.

I really doesn’t enjoy such lifestyle.. I dont enjoy learning in such “tiring” and “stressful” pace in my life. BUT! I know I need to do this to move towards what I wanted to do. And I know even after you become an accountant, You need to take even more exams still..

This part time study really enlarged my capacity. . I see how I value the time I spend with people.. I see how I treasure every little blessing I received from people that encourages me.. I see how some of my friends loved me so much… Many asked “why so long still not graduating?” Because it is a direct honours!  Is a 5 years course.. and I am in my last two years.. I cant wait for the year I will post on my graduation and of course the day i gotten hold of a license to be an accountant!

looking back, I knew God gave hope and dreams to every individuals. When we don’t see it yet because we are just half way mark to where we are intended to be.  I knew I have found mine 🙂

Psalms 139:16-18 NLT

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!

What 2013 means to me.

To sum up the whole year of 2013 I would said I have learned the most valuable thing in my whole entire life as a person.It is a heart of Gratitude.  At a later months of 2013, I finally understood what it means to have a heart of Gratitude even when there is a BIG NO to whatever we want to do.

I was blessed by one of the devotion by Ps Bob, I think that devotion changed me… I always remember one of my colleague said this to me “Gratitude leads to a longevity in your walk with God” 

When I understands what it means by being thankful in every circumstances, my attitudes towards things changes. When I understands that I don’t deserve what is given to me but I am thankful for it, I carried an attitude of godliness.

The one man I learned in the bible Is Abel where his attitude that mixed with thanksgiving. It is an offering respected by God. Everything I does, I want it to be an offering respected by God.

These are the things I don’t Deserve but I am thankful for it all:

I don’t deserve to lead the cell group and be your cgl but I am thankful for giving

me this opportunity to.

I may not be the smartest among you, But I am thankful to be able to lead you

guys into the presence every week

I don’t deserve to be part of this awesome team. But I am thankful for giving this

Opportunity to work with a group of warriors.

I don’t deserve to be part of this to solve problems but I am thankful for giving

me this opportunity to fight the problems together.

 I don’t deserve such crazy friendship. But I am thankful for all your craziness

because in the midst of the insane world of mine you girls have made me sane!

I don’t deserve such good gifts from you girls each time, but I am

thankful for each of them and your time 🙂

I don’t deserve such good friendship and family in church but I am thankful for them.

I don’t deserve such good mentor ship from Veron but I am thankful for them.

I don’t deserve such good comforting words and being there from Veron

but I am thankful for them all 🙂

I don’t deserve your many times of  giving, But I am thankful for it.

I don’t deserve your many times of discipleship, but I am thankful for it.

I don’t deserve your many times of fun-ness, but I am thankful for it

I am thankful for everything of you!

To my low profile friends… I don’t deserve your fellowship, but I am thankful for it. I don’t deserve the time we get to travel together. But I am always thankful for it. I don’t deserve you girls always being there, but I am always thankful for girls! Loves!

Before I end this post. I love this quote that I saw online:

You are not entitled to have a spouse. You are blessed with one.

You are not entitled to have a job. You are provided one.

You are not entitled to healing, forgiveness, or salvation. You are given them.

We need to be reminded too. None of us deserve anything we have. None of us are entitled to anything. But that’s what makes God’s benefits and blessings so extraordinary. God’s grace is the grounds for our gratitude.-Steven Furtick

Lets head for 2014 in boldness 🙂

A loyal friend- My Dog. I missed You

Audrey shared a story before starting the testimony segment. This story touches lots.

Here it goes;

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolf hound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ‘I know why.’Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.He said, ‘People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life – – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?’ The Six-year-old continued, ‘Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.’

The day where I lost my last dog of the family. I stood there seeing the vet injected the needle to do the necessary test. I saw how it have gone through the pain and I knew I have lost this loyal friend forever. That day, I knew whenever my bad day happen the loyal friend no longer will sit next to me and just be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle.

But I learned about LOVE. So much to learn from a loyal friend. 😉

The day I handled it all myself. R.I.P

I think I would want to document this down. Of how I went through this whole trauma.

On 26 Aug 2013, came back and notice this little friend of mine struggling on the ground. Looked at him brings so much pain. I knew it is time to let it go and we need to.

On 27 Aug 2013, bought it to the vet. On my way there I knew that feeling. It was the same feeling I got when my very first dog passed on.

Entered there, the doctor posed two decision for me to make. 1. Do a throughout check up and see what’s is wrong. 2. Just put him to.sleep.

I was stucked between this two deciaion because at the same time I wasn’t bear to .. And trying to drag time. Yes I did number 1 first. He did a blood test. He was crying so badly and that is where I couldn’t control my tears anymore… I wept. After the test, he lay in my arms and the breathe of it make me wept even more.

The test came out and doctor gave the advice that I should let it go. True enough I make number 2 decision.

Handed him over. And that was the last I seen him. Seated there in tears.. And yes I done all of these alone. I took awhile to walk out of the vetinar. I cannot imagine myself going through these emotions by myself.

Man encouragements doesn’t last but God’s word is eternal!

R.I.P CUTIE

You can have a Beautiful Life :)

Everyone of us always have this little “talk” within our hearts. Looking at others and we said ” I wished I am this, I wished I have that..I wished  and I wished”. That little “talk” begins in the heart “i wished.. I wished and I wished…” when circumstances arise. 

Until when I heard Pst Zhuang’s msg in one of the staff devotion that changed the mindset. 

Acts 3:2-10

² Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. ³ When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. ⁴ Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” ⁵ So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

⁶ Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” ⁷ Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. ⁸ He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. ⁹ When all the people saw him walking and praising God, ¹⁰ they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him

Everyday this lame man was been drop at the gate of the temple called “beautiful” The gate this lame man can see through the beautiful life of others across the gate. after a while, the lame man accepted the fact that he won’t have a beautiful life. 

⁴ Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” 

Peter and John tapped on the lame man shoulder and say “LOOK AT US”. They tried to get the attention of the lame man to shift his focus away from his inadequacy. The moment the Lame man stop looking at his inadequacy FAITH AROSE! 

The moment the lame men cross the beautiful gate that is the moment he realized that he could have a beautiful life too! 

I guess there are times we got to STOP looking at our inadequacy and circumstance and start crossing that beautiful gate to see that all of us can have a beautiful life too. 

 

Two of the Different World

Entered into Sentosa Cove I went “wow”… Went deeper in and looked at the stunning, amazing, majestic houses I always admired. the luxurious of living just amazes me. Came out of the place and saw a family of four at the hawark centre sharing two plates of Nasir Lemar. Saw two of the different world of people asked myself “why do God created us so differently?”

Immediately the HS dropped a verse into my heart:

Who in the world do you think you are to second-guess God? Do you for one moment suppose any of us knows enough to call God into question? Clay doesn’t talk back to the fingers that mold it, saying, “Why did you shape me like this?” Isn’t it obvious that a potter has a perfect right to shape one lump of clay into a vase for holding flowers and another into a pot for cooking beans? If God needs one style of pottery especially designed to show his angry displeasure and another style carefully crafted to show his glorious goodness, isn’t that all right? Either or both happens to Jews, but it also happens to the other people. Hosea put it well: I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I’ll call the unloved and make them beloved. (Romans 9:20-33 MSG)

God created us either in a vase or just a pot for beans He remember the ultimate purpose of every creation. He will call nobodies and make them somebodies.

I believe that is the work of the Potter. His creation is a nobody but He will mold, shape, mold, shape and mold and shape till His creation become somebody!

That is what I admire about God 🙂

Live life for the most Magnificent God….. 🙂

Grateful 2012 :)

Helloooo… 6 days away before 2012 ends.. A very adventurous and eventful year for me as a friend, cgl and staff. End of every year being thankful is always what i does. why? Because being thankful is one of the thing to have sustainability in our walk. here it goes:

A big thank you for my wonderful cell group for making 2012 sooo fun!

Thank you for making ministry so easy for me. Thank you for making cgm so fun every week.

Your testimonies every week make me so amazed and make me love God more.

 

These people make e267 possible. They are the backbones and pillars of the cell group.

A big thank you for standing in during the time i couldn’t and you are present behalf for me.

Appreciate you guys! because of you guys I could focus on work and school and yet not worry about the cg as much. Loving you guys!

 

These are Shilin’s leaders! Thank you Ping, Deb and Shilin for a wonderful 2013! Thank you Shilin for loving us for who we are! Even though you always roll your eyes at most of the comment i made. But i knew that you constantly making sure I am on track. All my questions and whining you always gave an answer that make me Stop whining cause God wins! hehehe….  Thank you for all your love!

Thank you bosses and finance department for making 2012 possible!

A tough and adventure walk this year but we made it through yeah!

Thank you for meeting all my “urgent” enquiries! You guys make my work easy 🙂 loveee ya!

I found a new group of friends in office! hehee the SBC group. This crazy group of people who work late and goes out only at 11 plus at night!

We comforted one another through the lively whatsapp group everyday! hehee!

Thanks for your friendship in 2012! Lets be even more crazy 🙂

 

Another group of crazy group of friends.. The present and ex receptionists at CHC!

Met for birthday celebration only but a super fun and outgoing group of girls!

Thanks for your awesome friendship in 2012! lets meet up moreeeeeee!

 

 

 

 

WL zone leaders that will always stay together and have fun..

Thank you for such an eventful year! Changes and many changes but God is always in the midst of us!

Lets keep doing what God called us to do. Love you guys!

 

Not forgetting this very very big family of mine!

Thank you for your love!

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship for 5 or 6 years? not sure! hheehe but thank you girls for such an amazing friendship..

Not much time spend alot this year! but know that I love you girls!

Thank you girls for 2012!

 

My very fun and yet quiet friend! hehee …

Thank you for your amazing friendship in 2012! Busy together… Stress together for Exam…. Chose same module together.. Lead cg together. Help each other led cg… This is one friendship i nv forget!

Thank you…  And I love you muchhhhhhhh!!!! Pls talk more in 2013~~~~~ hehee

 

*breathe in and out* One woman that i will miss the most! Well, goodbye is hard to say.

Thank you for being there for me. Midnight you hear me, day time you hear me, evening time you spend time with me when is needed. You hear every cries. Thank you one amazing woman that always teaches me to have a big heart. Always teaches me to love those who hurt you. Always teaches me how to forgive and forget. I learned so much from you. Oh how wish i could said “please don’t go!” hehe.. But God have greater plans for you. Be extremely bless.. And I will Wechat with you still 🙂

I love you Wenling ❤

One boss that always believe in us when others don’t. A boss that make sure our well being is good.  Thank you boss for constantly seeing the potential that is in us. Thank you for being so forgiving still when you see the mistakes we made. You taught me how to love those who hurt you. Taught me how to give our utmost best in our work.

always so gracious… so pastoral and spiritual. Not just a leader in work but a leader over our spiritual life. Like what I said a thank you can’t express how much we are thankful to have you. Thank you for standing for us and sowing  into our lives. Not just a boss but a leader over our spiritual life. Deep down, I want to said “i love you boss!”

 

Two of the pretty ladies that sow into my lives so much! Thanks Suzy and Grace for the fun I have!

Your counsels I always take it seriously ok! hehehe .. Thanks Suzy for “creating” my destiny in finance. hehee you know what I mean. thanks for all your spiritual and work guidance!

Thanks “C” (Grace) for all your nonsense and always hear me whine.. Thanks for always encouraging me that “i am a good cgl” hehee that is so comforting…

Anyway thanks Girls! thank you for letting me enter into this friendship! I love you girls alooootttttttt ❤

Lastly, A BIG BIG thank you to my Senior Pastor Kong and district Leader, SUN for showing me what Love is all about!

Their love for people is so BIG that I can’t explain it in words. I learned so much about loving the unlovable.

A Big thank you deep down in my heart how grateful to have you, Pastor Kong and Sun as my leader over my life. Love you guys deeply 🙂

 

An eventful year and I learned so much about loving the unlovable. Thank you all who have impacted me once in my life! A Merry Christmas to all 🙂 Lets look forward to a amazing 2013!

 

 

Deepest childhood dream~~~~

One of my deepest dream ever since young is to operate a restaurant on my own. that is why i love looking at unique restaurant

pictures. Here it goes:

 

 

 

 

 

Taiwan’s cafe

 

 

 

 

 

 

Underwater Maldives Restaurant ( My top honeymoon place to go!!!) Oh do you know they even have a underwater hotel? totally love that island for getaway!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cave Restaurant in Italy

 

 

 

 

 

 

A slip of the coffee by the beach.. oh i dreamed of such holiday ! hehehee….

Well… Looking at restaurants and cafe.. ahh love the blending of coffee… making new drinks! such an achievement!

first thing i will try when i travel is the coffeee!!! i should go on a coffee travelling ! ohh wished! 🙂

Alright met my satisfaction of looking at the different restaurant!